Saturday, July 23, 2011

Little Girl Blue

I cannot bring myself to write about Norway. I just can't wrap my brain around that much hatred. A few of my sisters have written about it here and here. I'll be respecting the moment of silence Calexora called for on her blog after I write this but the lack of compassion about the death of Amy Winehouse is infuriating me.

"She did it to herself." Oh, yeah, she did, and so the fuck what? Would a more active suicide deserve so little regard? Addiction is a big black hole that you don't want to fall into. One more hit, that's all, just one last holy shit Jesus please just let me make it to that hit and I swear I'll be good. Next time. Just let me feel this nothing for a minute and I'll do anything it takes to get better after that.  It doesn't matter if it's alcohol or nicotine or porn, when your head's on fire you'll do whatever it takes to put it out.  It all destroys body or soul or both.  Addiction I get.

I've loved my share of addicts -- relatives, friends, lovers -- and I've been at that point of going over myself more times than I care to remember.  If you can be at peace with yourself cherish that gift but don't kick someone else in the soul because they aren't.  Amy is someone's little girl and her addiction in no way debases her innocence.  I hope she's resting easy wherever she is.  There's another little girl there, singing her in.


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