Dear David Cassidy,
I’m writing today to urge you to drop the lawsuit you filed against Sony Pictures Entertainment (and their subsidiaries Screen Gems and CPT Holdings, Inc.) in October for fraud and breach of contract. I fully admit that I don’t understand the ins-and-outs of what they owe you from the estimated $500M US made from your image but I do know that your contract stipulated that you be paid 15% for your image on merchandise from lunchboxes to boardgames and 15% of millions of dollars is still a buttload of money and they have better places to put that money right now. In fact, it's a good thing they allegedly held on to all that moolah so that they could invest it to prepare themselves to appear morally outraged right now (that takes a lot of makeup and possibly some CGI).
I'm sure you're aware that Sony Pictures Entertainment is part of a larger group of entertainment companies (represented collectively by the MPAA) that's lobbying to push through SOPA/PIPA. The aim, they say, is to protect copyright holders (i.e., Sony Pictures Entertainment) from infringements on their work, you know, so they can be paid. It’s really not fair for someone to work like a dog for years and then not get what’s coming to them, right? Congress has backed off for now thanks to that silly protest the other day but the lawyers and the lobbyists are regrouping and rewriting and you know what that means: more billable hours, more dinners out for Senators, more of everything that costs lots and lots of money. It will probably cost more than the 15% of the millions of dollars you’re suing to collect. So, you see, they can really use it more than you can. Why can't you just be content with the $5000 US that you say they've already paid you? And like you've really missed that money for over 40 years.
Anyway, I hope you'll consider my letter in the spirit it was written.
In A Hurry Moron
PS: I know The HardyBoys was Shaun and not you but my lunchbox has finally rusted out and I was wondering if you knew where I could get a new one. Thanks!
Edit: I'm not sure why this vid didn't show up when I first published. Sorry. There's a really good reason I'm using it, though, and that's that when this whole debate took place over Napster Courtney Love wrote this article. Say what you want about her but she's right.