Tuesday, March 13, 2012

You Left John Porter With WHO?




It's Day 3 of FanstRAvaganza3 and the party continues today in the freeform chain with my sidewinders at AIsForArmitage and I Want To Be A Pin-Up.  What could they be up to, I wonder?
************************************

We’ve talked about how when I eat turkey I’m prone to hallucinations, right?  I had a turkey sandwich the other day and while Brendan Coyle didn’t come crawling out of the woodwork Charles Nelson Reilly did. 

Hmm…maybe I should explain. 

My dear husband had the kids out so naturally I thought, “X-Files marathon!”  I talked about my very favorite episode, “Bad Blood,” back here so I skipped that one this time and went for my other favorite episode, “Jose Chung’s ‘From Outer Space’.”  Can’t possibly spin this into a Richard Armitage post, right?  O, ye of little faith because, well, keep reading.

 So I made a turkey sandwich with Tabasco and sat down to watch Charles Nelson Reilly as the irrepressible Jose Chung, writer of “non-fiction science fiction.”  I mean, how can you resist this face?

Screencap courtesy of Area42


 If you have Netflix or access to Season 3 of The X-Files I can't possibly recommend this episode highly enough.  I dozed off roughly in the middle -- about the time of the thing I can't tell you about because like I'd spoil it for you but it involved Roswell -- and of course that's when it all went wrong.  Or right, depending. 

I felt someone sit on my feet and, mindful of the last time that happened, opened one eye cautiously.  Sure enough I was butt to foot with Charles Nelson Reilly, and have I mentioned that he died about five years ago?  It's one thing to hallucinate about younger Brendan Coyle, it's another to hallucinate a dead person.  I don't believe in ghosts so I thought it might be a good idea to ask him about it.

"Um, Mr. Reilly?  Or Nelson Reilly?"

He looked at me quizzically.  "Who's Mr. Reilly?  I'm Chung, Jose Chung, and I have a question for you."  He pulled out a file and thumbed through it, licking his fingers now and again.  When he found what he was looking for he pulled it out, turned to me and readjusted his glasses on the bridge of his nose.  "Now, I'm here in my capacity as Prothonatary of Dead Heroes Frank Spotnitz Has Killed and I have a few questions about a -- " he squinted at the paper "-- John Porter from 'Strike Back,' season one.  Or, series one, I guess, since it was on British television." 

I shook my head.  The pea was still rattling around.  "And what would you like to know, uh, Mr. Chung?"

"This Application for Injunction against harm was taken out by a Michaela Servetus last year around this time but it seems it was misplaced.  This being the case we must list his death as a Death By Filing Error which, as you can imagine, isn't heroic at all."

"And you're visiting me and not her because..."

"She'd kill me.  Oh, and you're listed as the Magic Documents contact thanks to that whole Hobbit  memo thing."

Dammit.  I knew that would come back to bite me.  I sighed.  "So, how can we fix this?  John Porter was definitely a hero and should be recognized for his bravery.  He shouldn't be forgotten.  What does Frank Spotnitz have to do with this?"

"Well, he killed me, for one, in Millenium.  He killed The Lone Gunmen.  The question is whether this Porter character was as heroic as Melvin Frohike.  I mean, there's more to being a hero than looking good in a pair of khaki pants.  You have to have heart, soul, intelligence..."

"Have you watched it?" I asked.  "Porter had all that."  

"I don't own a television, I'm a writer, my dear."  He readjusted his glasses again.  "Besides, I have to turn this paperwork in by 5 PM so there isn't time to watch it all." 

Hmm.  I had a thought.  I opened my laptop and fiddled around and pulled up bccmee's YouTube channel.  "Watch this," I said and pressed play.



 When it was over he sat gape mouthed for a moment or two.  His beeping watch made me look at mine, too: 4:56 PM.  He smiled at me and tore up the paper.

"Thank you for answering my questions, my dear.  Yes, I'd have to agree that however he died he was indeed a hero and deserves to be remembered that way."  He dropped his pen and I reached to get it for him but when I sat back up he was gone.  I heard my husband's car round the corner and breathed a sigh of relief.  Can you imagine trying to explain all that to a sane person?  Me neither. 


*************************************************
 For more FanstRAvaganza3 freeform chain fun don't forget to check out AIsForArmitage and I Want To Be A Pin-Up today.  If you've missed any posts in this chain, you can find them at AIsForArmitage, White Rose: Sincere and Simple Thoughts, Melanie's Musings, An Obsessed Fanatic and Do I Have A Blog?  Be sure to join us again tomorrow at Something About Love,   Me, My Thoughts & Richard Armitage and Do I Have A Blog?  See you then! 

23 comments:

  1. After just shoving a straight pin up under my thumbnail...unintentionally, I might add...I needed a laugh and baby was this ever it!!! Bwahaha!!!! Still hurts like heck, but I'm smiling.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. And you worry about ME with sharp objects, lol!

      Delete
    2. I know. Serves me right. Working on a cursed quilt block. What was I thinking?!

      Delete
    3. Are you making a Thorin quilt? Be careful, Queen!

      Delete
  2. LOL!!! You are delightfully whacko, dear. Maybe you'll want to come over and join my theRApy session. Brilliant. :D

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'll have my theRApist call your theRApist, okay?

      Delete
  3. Giggles Jazzy,
    I have to say that the X-Files Marathons on Thanksgiving Day you mentioned gave me a creepy flashback to one of my in-laws. Ha! But aliens came along and excised that memory out of my brain. So I'm a happy camper now. Ha!
    Cheers! Grati ;->

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It's the tryptophan, I'm telling you.

      Delete
  4. Are there no limits to the hallucinatons a turkey sandwich can give you? My, my! And I thought I was insane thinking I had made up that whole 9th 'series' of Spooks and it really didn't happen that way because Lucas went to Miami and joined CSI.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. John Porter stole his sunglasses, he had to stay in London.

      Delete
    2. What's a man without sunglasses in Miami? I see your point :-)

      Delete
  5. What ??!?? A FILING ERROR ??!?? I want my filing fee back!

    I WANT MY JOHN PORTER BACK !!!!!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hmmm, maybe you should come to theRApy, too...we can make it a party!

      Delete
  6. Charles Nelson Reilly = brilliant.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. LOL, do you remember when he was on "Lidsville"?

      Delete
  7. I remember the X-Files! That was a great episode with Charles Nelson Reilly too. I'm glad he's alive and well in your imagination. :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. LOL...I still love his outraged, "Alex Trebec? The game show host?" He was perfect.

      Delete
  8. Jazzy, this was so wacky and hilarious! Love it!!!

    ReplyDelete
  9. I'm going to have to revisit the X-Files to look out for Charles Nelson Reilly. Great post.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Jose Chung appeared in S3 Ep20, "Jose Chung's 'From Outer Space'," and also in MILLENIUM S2 Ep9, "Jose Chung's Doomsday Defense." It really was brilliant casting.

      Delete
  10. Wonderful, Jazzy!!! Although, I do have to agree with judiang...a joint theRApy session sounds like a good idea... :D

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That's the pot calling the kettle Black Leather, ItsJSforMe...glad you liked it, lol!

      Delete

Thanks for commenting!